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cupsufferingCup of Suffering  

He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will. (Matthew 26:39,NKJV).

God once told me that I didn't know who I was in Him.  He wanted me to see myself through His eyes.  The first part of this long journey was about showing me that I was righteous only through the putting on of the righteousness of Christ.  God had to heal my many wounds of lack of self-worth. Then He had to teach me that I couldn't do anything to make Him love me more.  Anything I did in the way of works had to be from a motive of giving not receiving from Him or others and that motive had to be love.  I came to the place when I understood this but still He whispered to me that I did not see myself through His eyes. I was suffering with many infirmities and couldn't understand why God wasn't healing me.  He had created a Ministry from my wounds and all the things that were unclean within my soul but still I hadn't been healed of all the things that were crippling me.  I would tell Him "If only you would heal me then I would be more effective for you".  You see right there was the problem!  I was focusing on myself - I was seeing myself through my own eyes, I couldn't see what God saw let alone what He was doing. God saw my infirmities as good.  He didn't like me to suffer and it was not His will for me to suffer, but it was His will to use my suffering for good.  This is what He spoke to me: -"Christ suffered so that many could be free.  Through your suffering you have learnt much. This is your cup of suffering so others can be made free through from what you have learnt.  To each has been given a measure of faith. It is in accordance with your gift.  The greater the gift, the greater the suffering and the greater the faith. All things are in accordance with the riches of my grace. It is your burden which you have carried for others. You have been given keys.  Keys that you have learnt from.  You will take those keys and unlock others.  When you pray 'Your will be done, not mine' - this is my will, not that you suffer but that you learn through that suffering to unlock others.  Did Christ not do this for you? You have prayed many times for me to take away this cup of suffering but I could not because I saw the good - All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  It was not my will for You to suffer but I used your suffering for good - Can you forgive me"? I told Him I could. "Each person has a part to play for others - as Christ gave Himself for all, part of the cup is to give yourself for others.  Your very purpose is to save souls. You are all called to be a witness to others".

For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil (1 Peter 3:17, NKJV).
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified (1 Peter 4:12-14 NKJV).

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed (1 Peter 3:14, NKJV).
But Jesus answered and said, “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” (Matthew 20:22, NKJV).
He then said to me: "My Children tend to fight their trials, not with Gods tools but their own, or the devils and it is the fighting that causes the most pain". We are human and we react with human feelings and emotions. We don't understand God.  His ways are not our ways.  We don't see what He sees.  God's perfect will for me was that my suffering would help many.  I would pray for Him many times to take that cup of suffering away. He once gave me this Scripture:- Beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:1-2, NKJV). We are so focused on our problem that we have forgotten the agreement we made with God when we became a Christian, which was offering to Him our bodies for His service to do with what He sees is good. When we make Jesus Lord of our lives we are agreeing to His ways, not ours! God showed me that I was making an idol out of my need to be healed.  I was putting my need to be healed ahead of my purpose in God and ahead of what God wanted to do in me. Anything we put ahead of God is an idol. Paul says:- And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Signs of an Apostle
I have become a fool in boasting; you have compelled me. For I ought to have been commended by you; for in nothing was I behind the most eminent apostles, though I am nothing.  Truly the signs of an apostle were
accomplished among you with all perseverance, in signs and wonders and mighty deeds.  For what is it in which you were inferior to other churches, except that I myself was not burdensome to you? Forgive me this wrong! (2 Corinthians 2:12:7-13, NKJV). Paul understood his purpose in God.  He understood that God was using his infirmities, distresses and problems for His purposes so he was able to thank God and trust that God would give Him what He needed in the trial to walk through it. God promises that He won't let us suffer what we can't handle. If we are suffering more than we can handle it is because we are hanging onto something that we are not allowing God access to. In my case I was hanging onto my need to be healed and putting it ahead of God using it to glorify Him and help others with the keys He was giving me for my healings. If you put your purpose in God ahead of your needs you can totally trust God to put your needs equal with His purpose. I once came across this poem and felt it perfect to add because this how I believed Paul saw His God-given walk and how we should all see it.  
God never promised
A life without pain,
Laughter without tears
Or sun without rain.
But He did promise
Strength for the day,
Comfort for the tears
And light for the way,
And for all who believe
In His Heaven above
He rewards their faith
In His everlasting love.

God gave Paul His eyes so that Paul could see all situations through His eyes. We become so self-focused in our pain and our need to change ourselves we don't see what God sees.  We need to change our focus and say to God "How can my pain and suffering help to glorify You and help others".  When we start to praise God in this way He can give us strength to cope and what we need to overcome until He has finished using the problem for His purposes.  When He has finished that is when we get our own healing. God wants us to take our eyes of our problems and put our eyes on Him.  When we see ourself through our own eyes we can't see beyond the problem. Self becomes the blockage because it has become an idol. We become focused on our self! We may not like what we see. hear or feel and become focused on it.  It is a distraction. God wants our focus to be not on ourselves but on Him. Worshipping in Spirit and truth is worshipping God throughout the trials and allowing Him to do His will with thanksgiving! But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33, NKJV). Seeking first the Kingdom is putting our needs second to His purpose.  The Scriptures clearly say that all things will be added to us when we (a) Seek first the Kingdom, and (b) Seek His righteousness. God showed me when we grasp this principle we pray from a selfless place. “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: 
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, 
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen (Matthew 6:8-13,NKJV). 
The Lords prayer really says it all.  It takes focus of self and onto God and His Kingdom. When we take our eyes of ourselves and on to God and His purpose for us He can then supply us each day our daily bread.  God can equip us with what we need each day - this is our daily bread but first we need to give ourselves and all of our needs to God for His Kingdom purpose and allow Him to do it His way.  (His will be done).
(CLIENT) - "Father God I repent for not worshipping in Spirit and truth. I repent for idolisation of self and not seeking first the Kingdom of God. I have become so focused on myself that I put it ahead of focusing on You.  I am sorry that my needs become an idol as I have put them ahead of my God-given purpose in You. I have lost sight of what You want for me and instead focused inward on self which in turn created more pain and more turmoil.  Your word says that You would never let us suffer more than we can handle. I have not trusted You throughout this trial and thanked You for my weaknesses, instead I have been fighting You, which meant I was unable to receive what I needed from You to give me the strength I needed to overcome. I have not allowed You to work in my situation because I put seeking healing and answers for myself ahead of what Your purpose was for these issues. I lay my needs at the foot of the cross and pray that You would show me how to use these issues to Glorify You and help others.  Thank You Father that throughout my suffering the power of Christ may rest upon me for when I am weak You are strong. I forgive You for not answering my prayers in the way I expected You to and I repent for putting my own expectations on You. I forgive You also that I have to partake of Christ's suffering before I am glorified in You. I take my focus of myself and put my focus on Jesus and the purpose He has for me.

I command Idolatry of self and self-inflicted pain anguish and turmoil to leave immediately in Jesus name. I pray for the eyes of Christ that I will see situations through the eyes of Jesus instead of my own eyes".

By Tania Francis