letgoLet Go and Let God

When you suffer from fear you will know how easy it is to become trapped in a world of ‘controlling your own circumstances’ to keep yourself safe.  I was a by-product of how wounds shape you. All the bad things in my life that had happened to me kept me bound in fear.  I only had peace and security when I had searched my surroundings and done all I could to keep me and my family safe.  My whole life consisted of safety checks and avoidance of things that I couldn’t control.  I never once stopped to actually ‘smell the roses’ as I was always on the lookout for the thorns. As you can imagine this is very tiring alongside of the fact that I was a perfectionist and needed everything in order and in its place.

God gave me a word whilst I was suffering from my body being stuck in flight or fight (which had been going on now for three years due to the menopause transition and various other ailments which made life very hard) to start ministering again.  I agreed because He gave me a promise that I would be healed in His presence whilst I ministered to others.  He also gave me a double portion of His anointing in order to do this.  As I started ministering again I noticed indeed I had been given a greater portion of anointing – the fruit of the Ministry was fantastic.  After a month of ministering to others I noticed that my symptoms had gotten worse and not better.  I definitely had been strengthened by God to push through and do this but my actual symptoms were still very bad. On top of this we had an accident with our fish tank one night whilst in bed where it sprang a massive leak and ruined the carpet in our lounge, dining room and computer room, as well as the wall adjoining between them.  Thankfully we had insurance as these all needed replacing.  Our carpet was 18 years old so it really was a blessing.  We also got gifted a brand new fish tank and all of the fish survived the transition. Because the insurance only replaces where there is actual damage we decided to re-carpet the rest of the house to match with the new carpet because Marks parents kindly offered to help toward the cost. This was a huge undertaking as we had accumulated a lot of clutter over the years and decided to have a massive clean out and spring clean while we were at it.  Mark and I worked very hard over that month and being unwell it hit me pretty hard. I also found that now I had another thing to fret over, ‘the new carpet’.  I went all out into Rambo mode and worry over people ruining our new carpet and put safety measures in place. 

The weekend after we had finished I had a melt-down.  I wasn’t sleeping well due to adrenaline rushes and night sweats continually throughout the night and my entire body was sore due to muscle strain and spasms. On top of this it was now school holidays and my children (now 14 and 17) were off out with their friends in the big wide world without me.  They were at that age where I could no longer be with them and be their protection anymore. It was time for them to venture out alone. It was all too much and one afternoon I suffered a panic attack.  Mark told me to put my trust in God and I answered with ‘How can I when God can’t guarantee nothing bad won’t happen to me, you or our children’.  Everywhere I looked Christians were suffering. I cried out to God through my many sobs and told Him over and over that ‘I didn’t want to take control of everything anymore because it was too hard and I needed Him to help.’ This is what I believe He spoke to me during my anguish, “You have built a wall of protection around yourself.  It is called ‘Fear of letting go’. You won’t let go of control.  Fear dictates your life.  Fear dictates your boundaries.  There is only so far you can go in Me when fear stops you going any further.  I cannot take you to where I want you to go because fear dictates your boundaries in Me.  You have to control everything in order to feel safe.  I am removing control from you.  I cannot be in control when you don’t give it to Me. You told your husband ‘That God cannot guarantee that nothing bad won’t happen to me or my children’. This mind-set prevents you letting go.” I then remembered I had written a revelation about this called ‘Fear of being hurt’ in which God had confirmed that ‘until one leaves this fallen world’ He cannot guarantee that ‘nothing bad’ won’t happen to you as this is a natural consequence to sin and unyielded areas operating in our lives. There is always a reaping and sowing effect in place. He spoke again, “If you allow Me to remove every blockage in your life between Me and you that hinders the blessings then I can guarantee that to you.  It is only those things in you or around you that are not of Me that can cause bad things.  When you are outworking every blockage I can turn all things that are bad to good because you are Mine. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28, NKJV).  I want to remove the world from you.  When you are separate from the world you and your family can live a life of blessing.  These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NKJV). 

Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17, NKJV).

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God (2 Corinthians 7:1, NKJV). When I remove the world from you, I remove all that is within the world – hurt, pain, grief, sickness and trauma all from you too. Do you understand?  In Me you bring Heaven to earth.  You live and reign in Heavenly places.  You are seated with Christ in Heavenly places. In My Kingdom there is no death, no hurt, no pain and no sickness.  You can have all that You desire here on earth but first you have to be willing to let go of the world and everything in it.” But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33, NKJV).  It was then that I realised the previous word where God had told me that He couldn’t give me this guarantee of security and protection until one had left this fallen world also applied to being completely separate from the world.  This happens through the sanctification process and when you surrender all to Jesus. I had assumed it had meant you had to either physically die and go to Heaven or wait until His return to live in the new Heaven and new earth before you could walk in this bubble of guaranteed blessing and protection. What God was showing me was that you can get to this place of complete wholeness, blessing and protection in Him when you are willing to totally let go.  He spoke again, “Trust Me to supply your every need.  When you are glorified you will leave behind the world and live and reign in the Kingdom. “Trust Me to supply your every need.  When you are glorified you will leave behind the world and live and reign in the Kingdom. (I then realised that God was talking about the time when Jesus returns. In the first resurrection there are many who will live in the promised land that God promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob with Jesus in their glorified new bodies for 1000 years – we are outworking that dying to self-process.  Firstly in our spirits, then our souls and lastly physical bodies.  The more we yield and let go the more peace, comfort and blessings we receive). You bring Heaven to Earth.  Jesus in you.  The Kingdom within you. You will live in peace, without fear. You have now laid down that wall of self-protection called ‘fear of letting go’.  I had to bring you to a place where controlling your environment became too hard for you.  Only when you are in this place can you truly lay it down and give it to Me.  It was an unyielded area. You had to be brought to a place where you could no longer physically do it.  You are mentally and physically exhausted.  Your body is locked in flight or fight because you have put yourself there.  Controlling everything means when all is in its place you feel safe and have peace.  When you are not in control you cannot rest. Your hormones are out of control because of the menopause transition – this means your body cannot rest. Under normal circumstances the body can readjust and establish equilibrium during times of change but for you it cannot because you have put yourself in this place called ‘fear of letting go’ and are locked there.  How do you get out?  I have the key.  Let go and let God!  Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit no matter the circumstances.  Stay on course and continue to do as I asked. Minister to the people and be available whenever and wherever you go. You asked Me a question, ‘Why have you not yet seen your healing manifest’? Firstly you had to lay down that wall and let go of control.  You had declared to Me many times that you let go of control but it is not until you are in the moment that you can actually do this. Brokenness enables you to surrender.  Only I can see the heart and determine when you have actually let go and given to Me those areas that you hold onto. What does this mean for you now?  Freedom. As previously spoken to you, as you let go and let God you will be raised up into the new creation.  Once the blockages are removed all that needs to happen is ‘Me’ in you resurrecting you into the new Christ-like creation.  How will it happen? When you enter into My presence.  Your soul will be born-again.  Will it be all at once or in stages?  Deliverance and healing go hand and hand.  For some they are being made new piece by piece, bit by bit but for you it will all happen at once.  Your Ministry is about removing blockages between you and Me so that you can receive all that I have for you. You will teach this, but not only that, you will be a vessel of this.  When the last blockage is removed from you, you will be infilled with My Holy Spirit and things will become new. You have been waiting for the second infilling of the Holy Spirit into your soul and believed it would be a momentous occasion because of all the words I have spoken to you, but then changed your thinking believing it to be gradual each time you stepped into my presence because I have already given you the anointing to pick up your mantle which is activated as you step out in faith.  The anointing which is activated when you step out in faith is the ladder in which you will climb to your God-given destiny. Your greatest blockage is not trusting Me.  As you obey the Holy Spirit and step into the anointing you will meet with Me when you reach the top.”  I then asked God, “Where is the ladder, and where am I climbing out of?” He replied, “The world!”
Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it (Genesis 28:12, NKJV).

(PRAYER) – “Lord Jesus I come before you and ask that You would show me all things that prevent me from climbing the ladder from this world into the Heavenly realms and into my God-given destiny.” (Write them down). 
I repent for holding onto these things and for not letting them go.  Please bring me to a place where I can truly lay them down and let them go. I let go and let God – I surrender to You.  I want to give up all I have to follow You. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me clear instructions on what I have to do to make it happen. Show me the ladder Lord Jesus and please give me the anointing to climb the ladder.  I want to meet with You at the top and become all that You desire for me to be. Thank You Father, Son and Holy Spirit that although in the world there is tribulation I can have peace because You have overcome the world, Amen.”

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21, NKJV).


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