Spirit of Dissension
Dissension is described in Free dictionary as a strong disagreement; a contention or quarrel; discord. The spirit of dissension was rampant in our home for many years until God showed us the roots. Firstly it is very important to have the correct dynamic between husband and wife. When this dynamic is wrong this is the door opener for the spirit of dissension to enter.
The Lord has revealed to us that demons can have access to us because of the incorrect dynamic between husband and wife. The correct order/dynamic is when the husband and wife respect, love and honour one another as equals, and when the wife allows the husband to protect her as the weaker vessel. The Word of God tells us that man and woman are equal, they are both created in the image of God. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them (Genesis 1:27, NKJV). The Bible tells us that man and woman when joined become one flesh, not two separate entities, so not one is greater than the other. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24, NKJV). In the Garden of Eden Eve ate the forbidden fruit, then coerced Adam to do the same. This act created a curse to come upon man and woman. To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16, NKJV). This poses a problem. Men and woman are cursed for man to rule over the woman. The Jezebel spirit coerced woman to rise up in disobedience, to proclaim back equality, so in turn tried to rule over the husband. Disunity, chaos, bickering, and contention was borne. Having no respect in the home between mum and dad can enable children to learn from their parents example, in turn resulting in dishonour towards mum and dad. This in turn brings rebellion into the mix. The following scripture spoken by Paul has been misused by many as a means for the husband to continue to dominate the wife. Submission to Husbands: Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. A Word to Husbands: Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3: 1-7, NKJV). The word submit (Hupotasso in Greek) means 'be subject to', to get under and lift up, to put in order, to subject one's self, obey, to submit to one's control, to yield to one's admonition or advice. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33, KJV). By this Scripture we see that husbands and wives are to submit to one another. Submit is better translated as ‘identifying with’ and ‘supporting one another’ in our God given roles as well as humbling ourselves and exalting one another. Husbands are not to rule over the wife, nor take power over her, as this is part of the curse that Christ came to break off believers. The relationship between husband and wife is about honouring and respecting each other’s roles in the house and marriage. The wife is made as the weaker vessel and needs to allow the husband to protect and care for her and the family. He is her covering. He is the head of her and the family in the sense that He is responsible for the provision and well-being of His family. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8, NKJV). The wife needs to honour and support him in this role of leadership. Many argue that because woman is made from man, he has dominance over her. This is incorrect. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God (1 Corinthians 11:12, NKJV). This Scripture shows equality as the woman also gives birth to the man. Another scripture used for men to rule over the wife is: The head over every man is Christ, the head over woman is man and the head over Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3, NKJV). God's order is that the husband is the head of the wife as God is the head of Christ. The word Head when taken back to the Greek means superiority. How is man superior to the woman when they are created equal, and how is God superior when God and Jesus are one and created equal? For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10, NKJV). The husband is physically stronger so protects the weaker vessel in the physical. Jesus also had weakness in His flesh as He humbled himself and became a man. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted (Luke 14:11, NKJV). He came in humility as a servant, to serve, but there is no inequality or inferiority between them.
Please note the following Scripture: Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name (Philippians 2:5-9, NKJV). Jesus was equal with God as He is God, but made Himself lower by becoming a man in a servant role. God then exalted Him above all things. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:9 – 11, KJV).
You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, ‘I am going to the Father,’ for My Father is greater than I' (John 14:28, NKJV). We know by Scripture that God and Jesus are equal but in John Jesus is saying that God the Father is greater than He. God and Christ are equal and united, just as the husband and the wife are one. The kingdom is about humility and becoming as servants. In the humbling of oneself one to the other we are exalted. I believe also to have Christ as head over us, it implies a protective covering. Christ is our covering. The husband protects the wife and the family, as Christ protects them both. How can Christ protect a family when there is no unity between husband and wife? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NKJV).
God revealed to Mark and I that I did not submit to Mark as head over me because I did not trust him to keep our children safe from the dangers of the world. I came from a background of hurt, rejection and sexual abuse. I was over-protective toward the children. I smothered them and struggled to let them be 'kids'. Mark was the complete opposite. He came from a family of praying Christians and was not subjected to a world like me. It was as though he couldn't see danger in anything which in turn caused me to take on the role of double-protector. God told us that He was going to remove the burden of being sole-protector from me and in turn pass a bit of what I had to Mark to bring about a healthy balance. I had to forgive Mark for not protecting the children (to my standards) and he in turn had to forgive me for not seeing him as our protector because of my idiosyncracies. He told us to lay ourselves and everything that makes us tick as the foot of the cross. There were many other things that Mark and I did that were in complete opposition to one another which caused many a conflict. I was over-sensitive, Mark was mostly insensitive. I was emotional, Mark was emotionless. I was a big softie to the children in comparison to Mark who was very strict. Husband and Wife become one flesh when they marry. Unity is what God intended. God showed us that He was going to give us unity and an understanding of one another by removing, changing, re-giging and exchanging those things within us as a couple that were not yet perfected by Him which caused disunity. He was going to issue back what He wanted us to have with divine balance!
Husbands and wifes also need to lay down their flesh and their drives and see each other as more important, just as Christ laid down his life for His bride. Husbands and wives also need to give authority of their own bodies over to one another. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does (1 Corinthians 7:4, NKJV).
Once dissension has entered a home it can bring in the spirit of rebellion, rejection and self rejection, especially into the children. These spirits can invade the children when they do not meet parents expectations. They see discipline as rejection, and in turn may end up rejecting themselves in the belief that they are not good enough. Parents will need to ask their children for forgiveness for the expectations they have put upon them, especially when they were upset with them for not meeting their expectations. Parents also will need to forgive their children for not meeting their expectations. The children will need to forgive themselves for not measuring up, especially if they condemned themselves for not being perfect, and forgive their parents for the expectations. The children will also need to repent for dishonour towards mum and dad. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3, NKJV). Parents will need to repent to God for the incorrect dynamic between them, which gave the children incorrect teachings on respect and honor. If bickering between siblings is present they will need to say sorry to one another and ask each other for forgiveness.
For a very long time we struggled with our youngest son Brayden. His behaviour was full of anger, tantrums, rebellion and discord. He rejected himself terribly. My husband and I loved him deeply and we couldn't understand why he always felt so rejected. There were many times when he told us he hated us, that we didn't love him and that he wanted a new family. This behaviour was aimed predominantly against me. God, after some time revealed the root of this rejection. There was a wall of separation between me and my son which wouldn't allow him to receive my love. No matter how much love I put into him, it bounced right off and he couldn't receive it. I loved him dearly and had no idea that my love wasn't reaching him. Satan had a legal right and used it. My own father never properly affirmed me as I grew up. I knew he loved me as he always showed me lots of love but I don't recall him ever telling me he was proud of me. I always felt that I was never good enough and could never gain his approval or measure up to his standards. When I was young him and my brother had a very close bond. They would play sport all the time together and me being the girl I seemed to always be in the way of them and left out. If I ever tried to do all things they could do, I would only end up failing with them laughing at me which made me feel even worse of a failure. Alot of my young childhood life I always found myself feeling left out - there was always someone who out shone me. The spirit of abandonment within me grew stronger when my father and my mother divorced when I was ten leaving my father finding himself a new home. I still saw my dad but it was never the same as when he was living with us. After a while he remarried and had three more sons.
I have also suffered various forms of sexual abuse in my younger years from different guys, which gave me a view of love and men. I got terribly bullied and picked on predominantly by boys at school and college when I was growing up. The men in my family were into pornography, as well as every boyfriend I went out with. It distorted my view of men and I believed that all men only saw woman in a perverted fashion. I came to the conclusion that all men were perverted and were only after one thing. It made me sick and I developed a bitter hatred towards men. Throughout my teenage and young adult years I seeked love in all the wrong places. I became sexually promiscuous to fill that love deficeit and deep feelings of rejection. I wanted to be accepted and I went the wrong way about it. I didn't know real love until I met Father God. For the first few years of my walk with God He showed me that I rejected His love. I had built a wall around my heart and I found it incredibly difficult to trust God. You see I saw God as a man, which distorted my view of Him, until one day God finally broke down that wall and I actually saw Him as my dad. I remember the day as I cried out to Him and called Him dad for the first time, and actually meant it. I told Him I loved him over and over, and that I finally trusted Him. I had a vision of Him with His arms around me, and I remember getting incredibly warm from His presence as I received a fresh infilling of God's pure love. God showed me that at that moment I got delivered from the orphan spirit, the spirit of slavery who separates us from the love of God. God told me that the many infirmities I had been suffering were a direct result of lack of self worth. Until I knew who I was in Christ I could not receive healing. I finally knew now who I was. A daughter, a beloved daughter who was loved unconditionally. After I received this infilling the Lord showed me that my son hadn't been able to receive my love because of that judgment against men that I had created. It had become a bitter root judgment and I was reaping what I had sown. When I openly declared I hated men, it gave satan a legal right to put a dividing wall between my son and I. My son was male, so it applied to him. Satan is a sneaky snake. I explained this to my son as best as I could and asked him to forgive me. I repented to God for the judgment I had made against all men. I asked my son to forgive me for the expectations that I had put on him. He did, and then forgave himself for believing he was no good and unworthy each time he couldn't meet them. I forgave him for not measuring up to my expectations and we blessed each other. My son and I wept as we affirmed each other and he finally received my love. The love of his mother that he had been lacking for so long. He is my son, and I am his mum. The result from this was immediate. You could literally see the difference when the love that I had felt for him all these years was finally imparted.
Prayers for breaking the spirit of dissension:
Husband and Wife Prayer -
Prayer for Husband: (Husband) - “Dear God, in the name of Jesus Christ I repent on behalf of myself and ancestors for the incorrect order between husband and wife. I repent that I haven’t humbled myself and exalted my wife. I repent on behalf of Adam who allowed himself to be tempted by Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit. I repent for myself and every man in my bloodline who ruled over woman believing ourselves to be greater. I repent also for not protecting woman as the weaker vessel, instead abusing and treating them with dishonour, contempt and lack of respect. I repent also for myself and all men in my bloodline for allowing woman to dominate and disrespect us. I lay down to You Lord Jesus my need to control. I lay all fleshly needs, desires and drives at the foot of the cross. I repent for putting these desires ahead of my wife. I ask You to help me see my wife as more important than my fleshly needs. I ask you (wife's name) on behalf of yourself and all the women in your bloodline to forgive me on behalf of myself and all men for hatred and dishonor toward women. I ask forgiveness for also not protecting you and the children as the weaker vessel, and for not fulfilling my duties as head of the house”.
(Wife) – “I forgive you”.
(Husband) - (Take wife's hand and say) - “I honour you, cherish you, protect you and affirm you as my wife. I give you authority over my body in Jesus name and ask God to bless you".
Prayer for Wife: (Wife) - “Dear God, in the name of Jesus Christ I repent on behalf of myself and ancestors for the incorrect order of husband and wife. I repent that I haven’t humbled myself and exalted my husband. I repent on behalf of Eve who ate of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, then tempted Adam to do the same. I repent for all the woman in my bloodline, including myself for allowing ourselves to be dominated, disrespected and abused by men. I repent also for myself and all woman in my bloodline who tried to dominate and rule over men, as well as refusing to be seen as the weaker vessel and not allowing man to protect us and our children. I repent for worshipping the Jezebel movement. I repent for dishonour, abuse and lack of respect shown to men. I lay down to You Lord Jesus my need to control. I lay all fleshly needs, desires and drives at the foot of the cross. I repent for putting these desires ahead of my husband. I ask You to help me see my husband as more important than my fleshly needs. I ask you (husband's name) on behalf of yourself and all the men in your bloodline to forgive me on behalf of myself and all woman for hatred and dishonor towards men. I ask forgiveness for not respecting you as you should have been”.
(Husband)– “I forgive you”.
(Wife) -“I submit to you and acknowledge your protection, love and support as head over me and our family. I give you authority over my body in Jesus name and I ask God to bless you - Amen”.
(Husband and wife) - "We forgive Adam and Eve for the curse of man ruling over woman. We break that curse and declare that we are equal. We are both created in the image of Father God. Help us Lord Jesus to always show love, honour and respect to one another. We now hand the reins over to you Lord Jesus as head over us and our family. We lay at the foot of the cross 'ourselves' and everything else that makes us tick. We ask that You give back to us a divine balance so that we can operate in unity as one flesh and as You intended. We ask that You bless this Holy union in Jesus name – Amen”.
Prayer for Parents and Children -
(Parents) - (One at a time) "Dear God in Jesus name I repent for teaching our children the incorrect order between husband and wife. Help us to be good role models to our children, teaching them about love, respect and honoring one another. I repent for putting expectations on my kids which made them feel rejected when they didn't meet them, and for holding unforgiveness when they didn't meet my expectations. I repent also for the times I have provoked my children to wrath. (Address each child individually) Will you forgive me for putting expectations on you that made you feel unworthy and rejected when you didn't measure up to my expectations"?
(Child) - "Yes, and I forgive myself for not meeting your expectations. Dear God I repent for being rebellious and dishonouring my mum and dad. Mum and dad will you forgive me for not meeting your expectations, being rebellious and dishonouring you"?
(Parents) - "Yes"
* Bless and affirm each other individually (We have made blessing and affirming each other a daily practice).
If husbands and wives find that they cannot agree on certain matters, then submit it to the Lord and allow Him to show you the correct way!
Mixed Heritage – In this prayer we address warring spirits, which are spirits we inherit when we have mixed blood or mixed heritage from nations that are or were in direct opposition to each other. This division and fighting within our own souls can wreak havoc on our lives if it is not addressed. You may even see the generational pattern of division within your own family if this is not dealt with. One classic example is when there is a mixed race of Maori and Pakeha If we have had ancestors from opposing religions this too can cause disharmony within your soul. You will need to stand in for each lineage/ religion/ race/ tribe/ nation or clan represented and repent for the wars between you then forgive each one represented on behalf of the opposing one in order for God to cleanse and heal.
(PRAY) – “I pray for the Holy Spirit to show me any strife and division operating within my bloodline". ***Write them down then line then up with the opposing mixed heritage i.e.,
Maori – Pakeha
Jews – Nazi’s
Protestant – Catholic etc…………..
"Dear God if I or my children have inherited mixed blood or mixed heritage that is in direct opposition to one another I repent for the wars and bloodshed that went on between these races and nations. I forgive the ancestors on both sides for their part in the wars against one another. I repent for myself and ancestors for all sins of contention, chaos, division, fighting, complaining, judgments, bickering, dishonesty, broken covenants, corruption, strife, fighting of ownership of lands and arguments. I repent for all sins committed that have defiled the land, particularly the spilling of blood. I specifically repent for the aforementioned sins within my bloodline between (name all lineages/ religions/ races/ tribes/ nations/ clans and people shown).
On behalf of the (name each lineage/ religion/ race/ tribe/ nation/ clan or person shown in the first column) I forgive (name each one that is in opposition with the named one, then do the opposite).
Example: *** On behalf of the Maoris, Jews and Catholics I forgive the Pakehas, Nazis and Protestants. On behalf of the Pakehas, Nazis and Protestants I forgive the Maoris, Jews and Catholics.
I cut myself and my children free from the warring spirits in Jesus name and break all forms of division, separation, chaos, arguments, contention, fighting and strife in the name of Jesus Christ and break all ungodly soul ties that exist between all parties mentioned. I command Thor the demonic god of war, warring spirits and all other demons including division, separation and strife, as well as all demons who transferred via the soul ties to leave in the name of Jesus Christ. I cleanse the land where all blood has been spilled with the righteous blood of Jesus Christ. I release Love, Joy, Peace, Harmony and Patience in Jesus name”.
******It is a good idea to also ask the Holy Spirit if there is any conflicting heritage within your soul and your spouses soul causing division between you both. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31, NKJV). Because you are one flesh it works the same way as the warring within your own soul. If one of the couples is an unbeliever You can still use the same prayer by first declaring that you are standing in the gap for yourself and husband as one flesh.
(Husband and Wife together) - "We ask the Holy Spirit to show us any conflicting heritage and beliefs that cause division between us". (Write them down and again with the ones in opposition beside them).
"We repent for ourselves and ancestors for all sins of contention, chaos, division, fighting, complaining, judgments, bickering, dishonesty, broken covenants, corruption, strife and arguments between each and within our bloodline between (name all lineages/ religions/ races/ tribes/ nations/ clans and people shown).
On behalf of (name each lineage/ religion/ race/ tribe/ nation/ clan or person shown separately) we forgive (name each one that is in opposition with the named one, then do the opposite).
We command the warring spirits and all spirits of division that cause disharmony to leave us (and our children) immediately in the name of Jesus Christ."
Division/Strife
(PRAY) - “Holy Spirit please show me any division or strife that I need to repent for” (Write it down)
“Dear God I repent for all sins of contention, arguments, judgments, chaos, division and jealousy between myself and (name any one shown). I repent for all resentment I have toward (name them). I pray for peace and understanding within this relationship. I bind the enemy from meddling between us. I pray for wisdom, revelation and understanding between us and I pray for compassion and awareness through the love of Christ to help us to see each other through Your eyes.
I command division, separation, strife, jealousy, envy, chaos, resentment and disharmony as well as bitterness toward one another to leave immediately in Jesus name”.
By Tania Francis